Love, Grace, and Gratitude

My first blog.

I should probably introduce myself and explain why I want to share my thoughts with the world!

I’m a 46-year-old mom of a teenager, full time RN, and now divorced after being married for 20 years. I’m a lifelong Christian, animal lover, and I’ve loved books and writing since I can remember. And oh, how I love new shoes! Still, underneath the roles of mom, wife, single woman, and nurse there has always been “me” trying to figure out for myself what works and what doesn’t work in this life. I try, I fail, and I get back up. Then I write about it.

My never-ending desire to write has led me to this blog, to document my journey, maybe make someone smile, and hopefully encourage others along the way. Miss New Shoes represents me and this phase of my life! Gone are my tired, outdated pumps and worn out sneakers – It’s time to renew myself!

But first, a quick backstory. I was raised by my parents who taught me about both Jewish law and Christianity, and how the two merged with Jesus Christ. I cut my teeth on the back of a Pentecostal church pew as gospel music, Bible stories and sermons soaked into my brain. I sang in the choir and acted in dramas. I spent my weekends with church friends and my summers at church camp. I received an education and traveled all over the states before I settled down and got married at the young, naive age of 23. Though my soul desire was always to be in the ministry and serve others, I threw away every opportunity I had for being a strong female role model for the young ladies in my church, and I chased after love instead. I left home, left the church, and spent the next 20 years of my life raising my daughter and trying with everything in me to be someone I was not, all for someone who didn’t love or understand me.

Here I was, a blood-bought child of God, looking for love! My Creator knew me by name and loved me, but I had rejected everything He wanted me to be. I found myself at the end of a bad marriage, drowning in emotional pain and fear, searching for love and acceptance from self-serving people. But unlike the love I desperately wanted from others, God’s love for me never faded. He kept me, He called me home, and He forgave me.

I’ve wasted a lot of years being someone else, for someone else. Never again! I can truly say, even though I’m alone now, I am not lonely! In the middle of the night, when fear and rejection (my two biggest enemies) come to visit, I can find peace in knowing who I am, and who my Father is.

His love keeps me, His grace saves me, and even on my worst days I can close my eyes and remember this…and I’m full of gratitude!

Welcome to my blog! I promise to always be real and transparent, even if it’s ugly! I hope you will return and share your thoughts with me!

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