In Repair

Please, dear God, let 2017 be better than 2016!

It’s been a year of false starts and knock-downs, renewed hope and crushed desires, rekindled dreams and reality checks. But I guess even all of that is a huge improvement from previous years when I actually thought my life was over! Thank God I survived those years! (Can anyone give me a post-divorce, post-cancer or post-any-kind-of-trauma AMEN?)

Still, what is it about 2016 that makes me want to look twice before crossing over into 2017? I feel ready – repaired from past damage – but what if I’m not? It is taking so very long for me to arrive, but maybe this time I’ll be ok.

The reason I hesitate isn’t because of fear – I think it’s because I really want it to be right, and I really want to be ready. You see every time I step out too soon, it just doesn’t work. Each time I make the wrong choice, I fail miserably. I seriously don’t just stumble either – I fall flat on my face, skirt over my head, and roll right off the edge of a tall building and into oncoming traffic – it’s ugly! I’ve learned that timing is everything. And if I’m not careful my next move could set me back again.

So I’m hesitant. Am I ready to step out and make these decisions just yet? I don’t want to be wrong!

I remember one time when I left my car at the dealership for some work to be done. It was promised to me in two days, so when the time came I went to pick it up. When I saw it, the front tires were new, and when I started it I could tell immediately that the battery had been replaced. I thought I was good to go! But as soon as I put it in gear, the same grinding sound that I had before was still present, and boy, was I mad! I huffed into the office and crossly informed them that they had not fixed it. Upon investigating, it was discovered that miscommunication among the mechanics had caused them to miss the most crucial problem of all. I had assumed I was ready to drive away. But there was still an unresolved problem under the hood.

Nothing can defeat you more than when you believe you have fixed your issues and that you’re good to go, only to get neck-deep into your next “situation” and find out that you’re still drowning in the same problems you had before!

So as I come to the beginning of a new year, I’m shaky from past events, but I still have hope in the future. I’m focused on decisions I need to make, and I’m determined to take the steps towards personal goals and in becoming the person God planned.

The question is, even though I’m not who I used to be, am I repaired enough to be ready for what is to come?

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