That’s all they are – just moments. Blips in time. They don’t have to culminate into an entire mindset if you know how to handle them. I’m getting better at it keeping these moments in perspective!
Hands down, the worst moment for me to be single in the wintertime is when I crawl into bed under the cold blankets. Ugh, I so dislike this time of day and season! The windows of my bedroom are drafty, and the midwestern winds howl right on in and put a chill over my covers. Brrr! I long to reach for a warm body lying next to me with the mutual understanding that our needs will be met with a warm embrace and hot kisses! But instead, my toes and heart grow numb from the isolation. Dramatic…I know!
But there is a flip side to this. The best moment for me to be single in the wintertime is just as poignant! It comes after I walk in the door after a long shift, kick off my shoes and peel off my scrubs. It’s when I put on those soft fleece pajamas and wool socks, and then my fuzzy robe over that! My hair comes down in messy waves as I stretch out on the sofa, prop up my feet, and hug my purring cat. No one is giving me “the look” for having an unsexy appearance, and nobody rolls their eyes if I need to shed a few tears about having a bad day. If I want a bowl of cereal for dinner, or decide it’s bedtime at 9 pm, it is my choice alone, with no feelings of guilt or inadequacy.
There are moments of pure contentment in this girl’s single life, as well as moments of stabbing loneliness. But I have repeatedly decided that this is the life I choose over settling for anything less, just for the sake of having a partner.
Because the moments that make me smile greatly outweigh the moments that make me cry, and I know exactly what I could lose by settling!
Single ladies and men, if you haven’t experienced both the ups and downs of being alone AND being with someone who isn’t the right one, let me encourage you to focus on what you have right now more than what you want, when it comes to a future relationship. I think that’s the only way you can actually grow and then move forward. Appreciate where you are, make YOURSELF ready for the future you want, (what do YOU bring to the table?) and then live in peace knowing if you want it bad enough to work on yourself for it, everything else will work out the way it’s supposed to.
In the meantime, I’m buying an electric blanket!