Amazing???

I had a morning of wistfulness today. I was scrolling through social media and came across a post that said something along the lines of, “It’s SO AMAZING what I can accomplish since I found someone who believes in me!” For a short while, I got caught up in the mindset of wondering what all I could be capable of, if only I had a strong, supportive “significant other” by my side?

The feeling of melancholy did pass, but not until after I took about 20 minutes to write my feelings down. I know this is probably reminiscent of something Dr. Suess would have written, but still, it’s my blog and I’m posting it anyway, even if it makes me feel like wearing a big red and white stripped top hat…

I hear that it’s amazing
what you can do
If you have someone
who believes in you!

I hear that it’s a comfort
(And you live longer too)
If you have someone
who can truly say, “I love you!”

Being an island
has its moments
But two minds with one heart
would go far beyond romance!

Flowers and pretty words
used to light me up inside
But now I’d rather hear silence
than hear lies till I die.

Still, I hear that it’s amazing
when it’s finally right
When love and purpose
is finally in sight.

Although it has been my choice to remain single, and I stand by my ideals of what I want in a soulmate, I confess these moments of sadness when I think about what I don’t have! How utterly human of me! God help me stay strong, remain open to possibilities, and above all else, CONTENT to be right where I am in life…Because sometimes, what I have is pretty amazing too!

And by the way, this morning I also learned that the word “amazing” is in the top 20 most overused words in our language!

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A Resurrection In Me

Today is Easter Sunday! God’s eternal plan for our souls was unfolded that fateful weekend outside Jerusalem, just as the pages of our lives unfold, one event after another.

So perhaps today it’s appropriate for me to reflect on the timeline of my own life, and recognize that yet another page has been turned. One more step towards the life of love and freedom I should be living, and one more step away from the grave that is my past.

True love is amazing! It just keeps giving, forgiving, and above all, it is an unfailing strength and support to the one who is loved. It never walks away. It is constant, even when love is sometimes undeserved – unlike relationships based upon obligation, infatuation or lust.

I reflect today on instances when I know love has truly been unfailing. Obviously when Jesus was tortured and hung on the cross. When He traveled to Hell itself and squashed death under His foot. When the tomb was opened. And then when I was 10 years old and received His Spirit into my heart and shook like a leaf at how “big” His love felt to my tiny self!

I felt true love envelope me the moment my daughter was born, and it has only grown in her almost 20 years of life! The bond we share is unbreakable and unquestionable. When you’re a mom, giving of yourself doesn’t even feel like a sacrifice – you see a need and instinctively meet it.

I saw true love when my parents were remarried after six years of being divorced. They had quite a past to forgive of each other, but they did and they moved on. They celebrated their 53rd anniversary last year! I see true love in my dad as he faithfully protects my mom, especially after her traumatic brain injury, and I see it in my mom as she cares for him with his cancer diagnosis.

I know that I truly love someone when their welfare is a concern to me, when seeing them makes me light up inside, even if I’m met with a frown, when being there for them feels instinctive, and when failing them feels crushing. When their words of praise gives me a rush of joy, and when they’re still on my mind, even if they’ve been silent.

Today I’m hit with the parallel between all these examples of love I’ve known, and to the love God has shown toward me! He loved me so much that night I was “born” again! He loved me when I was a teen who needed protection when I was hit by a train. (My car was totaled, but I walked away without a scratch). He loved me when I walked away from Him. He loved me when I was sick in my soul and emotionally wounded. He instinctively knew just how I needed healed after the night I tried to take my own life. He loves me when I tell Him my needs and then I watch them be met, time after time. He loves me even when I am silent. According to His word, He is concerned for my welfare, and when I praise Him, it brings Him joy!

Today has been a day of realization for me, another page turned. I’ve known all of this in my mind, in theory, but today it just lit up in my heart!

Single ladies and gentlemen, like me, have you ever asked yourself, “I wonder if this is really love?” I think true love will align with the Resurrection we celebrate today, in that it will perform some sort of resurrection in you. You see a purpose, you see a future, you see a hope that wasn’t there before, and you see it is always there when you reach out for it, even if you don’t deserve it. Through every dark chapter of my life, from childhood until today, true love just keeps pulling me out of the grave and resurrecting me!

And that’s what makes it love.