I recently heard a certain female Christian speaker give an inspirational testimony on how God had answered her prayer regarding specific traits that she longed for in a future husband. She spoke about how He had ultimately brought them together when she met this man who fulfilled every single one of her many criteria that she had listed to God. She then described, in detail, the 20 or so different specifications she had for her now-husband. Same faith, certain height, steady income, NFL fan, similar taste in music, etc.
Now I know her take-home-point was that God cares about the things we care about, and if we ask, He is faithful to give us the desires of our hearts. I realized, as she listed all the very specific details she wanted in a man, that God must care about her very much to have answered her prayer so precisely.
Yet I confess that I found this part of her message annoying. She had actually requested that her future husband have green eyes. When she finally met this man, he had so many of her criteria that she was thrilled, but it was a dimly lit room, and she disqualified him in her mind because she thought his eyes were brown. It wasn’t until the next day that she saw him again and realized they were indeed green that she realized that he must be her soulmate after all!
After listening to her, I felt a little irritated. I thought, “I would never dismiss somebody based upon their eye color!” Then, for some reason, I made my own list. I felt a little silly at first. I mean, to request things that I would want in a man was to admit that I actually hoped for something that I wasn’t sure I would ever find. But at the end of the night, I had done some soul searching, attempted to tap into a new area of faith, and came up with the following. I can promise you, it does not include his eye color!
If he ever comes along, he will have to meet the following criteria…
- He will have to love God more than he loves me or anyone or anything else in his life, including himself.
- He has to have purpose. To exist, rather than to live, is a mindset I want to stay far away from. Goals are as important in life as oxygen, to me.
- He will see me, value me and protect me AND my emotions. No further explanation necessary…he either gets it or he doesn’t.
- He will have to understand that I am always a mom, and I will always move heaven and earth for her.
- He will have to understand that I love my music. He doesn’t have to love it too, but he has to have at least an appreciation for it and won’t tell me to turn it off when it’s obvious that I’m listening to it. I’m unwilling to butt heads with anyone over this.
- He will have to value hygiene and health, and understand that self worth is mirrored in your appearance.
- He will never have to be begged to touch, hug, or hold me.
- He has to have a sense of humor. I need someone who understands why I laugh at the things I do, and be able to make me laugh!
- He will never expect me to read his mind. He has to be a good communicator, and he won’t get pissy with me when I hold him to this!
- He won’t behave in ways that he knows are hurtful to me. He will never hold my love for him hostage.
- He will be honest.
- He will be able to recognize his faults and actively work on them. If he is done growing as a person at any point in life, then he is not for me.
- He will recognize when I’m working on my faults, and encourage me along the way.
Love, support, protection, and guidance would summarize My Wish List. I wouldn’t care about eye color, social standing, skin pigmentation, income, height, vehicle, or muscles. I would care about him, us, our life together. Our purpose.
If The One for me exists, I’m confident we will find each other. Or maybe he will just look over and recognize me.